Let's Settle the Debate About Hiring Friends and Family Once and For All – Part II
We continue in Part II about what you need to know about mixing business with personal relationships. Read Part I where we discussed different definitions of providing preferential treatment to family and friends and the cons of hiring family and friends. Now, we will discuss the pros, the ground rules if you decide to hire them and our final verdict.
The Pros: Why It Can Work
Better Retention – Employees who work at a parent’s firm stay longer than average. Friends and family have a stronger loyalty and commitment which means they are less likely to seek opportunities elsewhere.
Trust is Already Built – You already know their work ethic, values, and personality when you hire a friend or family member. That can eliminate a lot of the uncertainty that comes with hiring a stranger.
Stronger Commitment – Friends and family often have a personal investment in your success. They may be more willing to go the extra mile compared to an outside hire.
Faster Onboarding – Since you already know them, it may be easier to hire and communicate expectations and get them up to speed quickly.
The Non-Negotiable Ground Rules
If you’re set on hiring a friend or family member, these rules are absolute:
Before Hiring
✔ Conduct proper interviews and check references like you would for an external candidate.
✔ Create clear role definitions by developing a thorough job description.
✔ Set explicit expectations regarding the role and performance.
✔ Provide a written understanding of at-will employment like other candidates; this information is typically in an offer letter.
✔ Obtain signatures on standard employment contracts to protect both sides and set clear expectations.
✔ Develop clear termination policies.
✔ Establish an exit plan before hiring, in case things don’t work out.
During Employment
✔ Commit to work communication staying at work and personal communication outside of work.
✔ Treat them exactly like other employees.
✔ Keep compensation similar for comparable positions and experience.
✔ Administer similar discipline for similar infractions by others.
✔ Address issues immediately not allowing them to fester.
✔ Perform regular performance reviews or one-on-ones.
✔ Establish clear reporting structures and encourage usage of their chain of command for resolving issues.
✔ Use objective data and skills assessments to make promotion decisions.
Managing Others' Perceptions
✔ Be transparent about relationships and do not hide your relationship with your friend or family member.
✔ Address concerns from others proactively.
✔ Maintain professional distance at work and avoid discussing personal matters at work.
The Final Verdict
Bottom line, family and friend hiring success stories do exist. Overall, they work when the family member/friend is genuinely qualified and there is a real business need for their skills, and not just a favor. Avoid hiring friends and family when they have a history of blurring professional boundaries, other qualified candidates are available, or your gut says it’s a bad idea (trust it!)
Can hiring friends and family work? Yes.
Should you do it? It depends.
Consider the answers to these questions first:
Would I hire this person if they weren’t already in my life?
Is this person truly qualified for the role?
Can your relationship survive tough conversations and conflict?
Are you prepared to fire them if necessary? Will this help or hurt your business?
Can you both maintain professionalism?
If the answer is no to any of these questions—trust your gut. If you decide against it:
Professionally explain your decision to your friend or family member.
Offer to help them with their job search and connect them to your network.
Stand firm on your decision.
Limit your discussion with them about your business in the future.
Remember
Your primary responsibility is to your business. Whether that means hiring or not hiring friends and family should be a business decision first, personal second.
What's your experience with hiring friends or family? Has it worked for your business, or did it create unexpected challenges? Share your story in the comments below.
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